Video game heroes come in all shapes and sizes. Some of them are massive heroic figures like Doomguy, and others are just so ingrained in our brains that we’ve always viewed them as capable, like Mario. The issue is, some video game heroes really make all of us wonder how they managed to save the day.
It’s pretty rare for video game heroes to come across like a chump, but some of them really do manage to be built worse than Futurama’s Zap Brannigan. Sometimes, a hero is one of the dullest animals around leaving everyone with no choice but to wonder if a happy ending is on the way or not.
10 Barry Burton
The man, the myth, the legend, Resident Evil's Barry Burton. While he has only been in a playable starring role in the main series once, it’s probably safe to say that he’s just not cut out for the whole zombie-slaying thing.
If we’re totally honest, Barry is much better suited to creating and perfecting a stand-up comedy routine. The man just has that oomph in his line delivery, and if he could come up with something as world-shakingly brilliant as, “Jill sandwich” on a whim, it’s hard to imagine how powerful he could become in the world of comedy.
9 Johnny Cage
Johnny Cage just barely makes this list because he is a trained fighter at the very least. The thing is, no one could have seen what was usually viewed as more of a joke character being a guy defeating one of the most powerful characters in the series, Shinnok.
When the character's claim to fame is that an actor didn’t want to be attached to him and the fact that the guy’s best move is a punch in the balls, it’s safe to say he isn’t incredible. For whatever reason Cage got a god-mode rewrite, although even that couldn’t last all that long considering the entire continuity is being reset again in Mortal Kombat 1.
8 Sora
I hate to get all realistic on the Kingdom Hearts series, but Sora is literally adventuring around with an anthropomorphic duck and a… whatever Goofy is (my best guess is a dog, but that gives me all kinds of weird questions about Pluto). Even with magic, he’s still a kid.
I don’t care if he’s got the power of friendship behind him, if he took one step outside of the wild world of Kingdom Hearts, Sora isn’t going to get past a single boss. Let him ask Joel Miller if the power of friendship helped him avoid becoming a human golfball, and I bet Sora would change his hero-attitude real quick.
7 Earthworm Jim
If you’re a big video game nerd like me, then you know about the backstory of Earthworm Jim. If that’s the case, you’ll know that he completely lucked into being a hero out of a drive to not be eaten whole by angry birds (not those Angry Birds, although there’s a crossover just waiting to happen).
He was never supposed to be a hero; he was just supposed to live the mundane life of a worm. Forget all that for a second, because Earthworm Jim actively uses the word “groovy” unironically, something we all know is reserved for the truest and campiest hero of them all, Ash Williams.
6 Mordin Solus
The fact that, to some, Mordin Solus has one of the most emotional moments in Mass Effect 3 is just astounding. The sadistic scientist came out of nowhere to become an instant fan favorite, but he still never came across as an overly heroic person in Mass Effect 2.
The Salarian was out there singing show tunes for Shepard, and while an affinity for musicals and being heroic aren’t exclusive traits, it definitely doesn’t make you think Mordin is willing to sacrifice his life to save an entire species that he had wronged in the past -- even if you can technically save him from that fate. I’m not crying; you’re crying!
5 Ecco The Dolphin
Does this one even need all that much explaining? Ecco, is, quite literally, a dolphin. I feel like most people don’t really know what this game is about, but just know it's a game in which a dolphin not only travels to the lost city of Atlantis but also time travels and battles actual aliens.
I like dolphins as much as the next person, but when the aliens invade, I’m not going to be turning to them for help in the fight. What’s even wilder is the fact that this is just the first game! There’s a sequel and even a reboot that continue the dolphin’s adventures.
4 Jim The Knight
If you don’t know about my boy Jim The Knight… you’re really not missing out on much. He’s the hero from the original Hydlide, a much more simplistic version of Zelda. Aside from the hilarity of a supposedly great hero having the simple name Jim, the character really doesn’t fight all that well.
He just sort of tosses himself at enemies without any animation. In almost all of his appearances, Jim is basically a one-hit-death machine, and not in a good way. How anyone managed to get him to the end of the game is a good question, but it just shows every hero has fans.
3 Lester The Unlikely
I mean, come on, it’s literally in the name – Lester is, quite simply, unlikely. Looking like a stereotypical nerd ripped right from the screen of a cheesy eighties movie, Lester looks more like he’s ready to take a test than he is ready to save the day.
I wouldn’t believe most people could survive on their own on any kind of tropical island, so why would I give Lester any credit? Tropical islands have a whole lot of danger that the average person isn’t prepared for, and while Lester may have some brains, Leopards don’t really care about that.
2 Lan Hikari
Anyone who played the Mega Man Battle Network Legacy Collection should already know exactly why Lan Hikari is on this list. Somehow, this grade-schooler not only goes toe-to-toe with MULTIPLE terrorist groups, but he also manages to defeat them multiple times.
You might give all that credit to Mega Man, but the net navi really isn’t doing much without Lan running around. The kid even takes out a fully grown man with a single throw of his PET at one point, something that should make everyone wonder whether or not Lan even needs Mega Man.
1 Detective Pikachu
I love Pikachu as much as the next Pokemon fan, but I have to ask, what in the world makes anyone think a Pikachu would make a good detective? Ash might have a solid Pikachu, but if you put a boulder in its way, that mouse is doomed.
This tiny Electric-type is able to become an incredible detective and solve a variety of crimes, but if a sudden impact is enough to make a Pokemon talk, I have a feeling there are plenty of other candidates for being a detective long before Detective Pikachu.